You think if I promise to behave for the rest of my life, god will let me fuck her on the regular?
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
Was she always missing a tooth or am I just now noticing it?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I turned around and there were three 10 year old kids running around with sparklers. Weirdest college part ever.
Welcome to Philly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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