My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
Well, I guess this was as good a night as any to find out I don't know how to use my fire extinguisher.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
The only responsible thing ive done in vegas is shower and that was onky to clean vomit off me
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
Dance move was taxi-ing on the runway then taking off in a plane. All the boys wanted to beat you up cause they were like "who is this angel flapping her arms like a bird in the bar i must have her"
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Black magic does not go near my vagina, it's a rule
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
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