there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Vibrator fell off the top of the dresser and hit me. This might be the most embarrassing black eye incident ever
I legit feel like I had sex with Joey Fatone. Is that weird?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
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