can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
I'm pretty sure the only race ive ever won was to my mothers egg
In America we eat man semen.
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
just cut a line with my blood donor card...i feel like it will help remind me that i was once a productive member of society.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
well, I was going to forgive her anyway but not because shes my best friend and moreso because shes my drug dealer
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
I don't want to be drunk any more. Can you hit the off switch?
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
Today I made my parents proud-spent the afternoon floating around in their pool drinking beer-which I would ask my nephews to get for me out of the fridge
Randomize
