I woke up this morning with gum gluing my ass cheeks together..
I can't decide if I actually want to know or not..
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I just soaked a sugar cookie in nail polish remover to clean off my nails because I was too lazy to walk to the bathroom to get a cotton ball. Is this what rock bottom feels like?
Guess who's the proud owner of her very own foxtail butt plug!!
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
Randomize
