Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
If you can't do the LSAT hung over. You can't do the LSAT. That's the real practice.
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
You might not want to come home tonight. Mom just found your vibrator and now she won't stop sobbing and holding a framed picture of you as a little kid.
I'd apply for another job, but "staring out windows crying" is not a hot qualification right now.
I'm the man of the house if we're referring to livers.
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
