Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
wtf. i just found you're porn stash.
u like it?
NOT THE POINT.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
The best thing he's ever done for me was comment on my profile picture saying "hello boner"
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
dude, i warned you that using a card to pay for my hotel room was a bad idea. You deserve the extra $600 in cleaning fees
I went to pick my brother up downtown and I stopped at a red light a homeless old man comes up knocks on the window shows me his penis and then screams money
I want you to get off the plane and get directly into my pants
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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