Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
My roommate fed me my birth control pill while I was hungover laying on the couch so that's how my morning has been
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I need to stop acting like a porn star that isn't getting paid
Kids I used to babysit are now fuckable members of my social media periphery.. Getting old sucks
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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