dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
I wish "capable of destroying an innocent girl's life" is something I could put on my resume
He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
i refuse to be around anyone not wearing a sombrero...its cinco de mayo
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
He smells like cinnamon, and what I imagine to be orgasms
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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