Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I understand. Hypothetically what should one do after throwing up in the shower?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Im watching him eat cream cheese and hot dog buns.
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
we had break-up sex in a port-a-potty. how do you think it went?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I think I sold my soul to a dominatrix last night.
But he was still all, "YOU TEXTED TONY WHILE YOU WERE GETTING FUCKED?!" Like THAT was the weird part.
I just saw a girl on the phone crying and eating a sandwich. Thats talent right there.
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
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