i just ate something from under my fingernail. i dont know what it was, but it tasted half decent
I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
My mom gave me a high five when I told her I was just using him for sex
You and your mom would make an amazing tag team
We went to his house and he brought a jar of pickles to bed. I think im in love.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
So I woke up alone in the hotel room clutching a bible to my chest. Explain, please.
Did you just email Kelly and I gay dinosaur erotica?
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
All of a sudden he got that look on his face and ran to the dance floor and started fist pumping to Rihanna that kind of night
Randomize
