I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
Oh. My. God. Best non-relationship, he-might-be-cheating-on-his-boyfriend-but-I-can't-tell-because-of-the-language-barrier sex EVER!
This is the last time I call a hotel to see if you or some random guy paid for the room last night.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
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