i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
sorry I didn't call you. I had your number saved as "girl that offered bj but didn't follow thru".
I feel like i made up for not being able to drink on St Pattys Day, Mardi Gras, and last years Cinco De Mayo. That hungover.
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I hope the doctor doesnt lift up and my shirt and listen to my lungs. I dont want to explain why I have rug burns on my back.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
My only regret is that we didn't pee on our neighbors Prius
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
YOUR TO-DO SEX LIST CANNOT CONSIST ENTIRELY OF MY THREE BEST FRIENDS
and their significant others
AND THEIR SIGNIFICANT OTHERS
I jus want to remember tomorrow how proud I was tonight for wearing my rainbow leggings as a long sleeved shrug I feel like fucking MacGuyver
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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