take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
so he tried to quietly tell me my Tampon String was hanging out in front of his family but i didn't hear him so he yelled it
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
i think i can safely say that is the weirdest thing you've ever propositioned me with. so obviously my answer is yes.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
And I think short bridesmaids dresses are the best idea especially for bathroom sex
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
Gay bathhouses. They're actually a thing. So god does exist. And he doesn't hate me as much as you think he does
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
We shall need something stronger. Anal lube, the blood of a giraffe, and a bay leaf should do the trick. Make the paste and cover your left knee and anus in it.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
