Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
sorry for covering your dog in whipped cream. his bark made it sound like he wanted it.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
you got us kicked out of the restaurant for trying to pee in the trash can.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
You have not lived until you have drunkenly grinded on your mother. Daughter of the year right here.
That sad moment when even your drug dealer lands a summer internship and you don't...
Your text makes more sense read in reverse.
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Snow days are when you really appreciate that your neighbor is on your bang roster.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Randomize
