The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
Tonight, a friend walked in and said "oh look at that. Drunk on the living room floor. Just as expected." this is my life. This is my life.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I distinctly remember telling him "I'll suck your dick while you eat pizza"
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
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