So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
just got a girls number while on a 5 am adderall cig break this is college at its finest
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
does it count as cheating if I'm bettering him for his girlfriend?
You were with some girl. Your exs best friend. Your shirt was half undone and she was telling you to put your penis away. It wasn't out but you wanted to. Patron is your weaknes.
My first drink last night was a 2-liter of jameson and coke. So hung over it hurt to put my pants back on
I shouldn't be that hard, but i cant exactly put "a guy to tie me up and fuck me and then brush my hair" in my dating profile
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
Yeah, I'm sure we have time for sex AND ihop.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Roommate charged out of his room in pajamas yelling "MAKE IT RAIN" and just threw $4,000 in fifties onto my head. My Friday night.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Wow. I want to climb Santa. You've made my mind go places I wasn't prepared to explore.
Randomize
