Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
I'm not gonna lie; I was dosed with mushrooms and am eating pickles with a guy in all white. It's weird, but I'm down. Help.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
If it carries over into the weekend I would be glad to nurse your vagina back to health.
Who the fuck was that guy he kept pulling his dick out walking up to people trying to hand it to people and saying go ahead open the door like it was a door knob
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
It looks like I jerked off a rainbow.
Slap a cop in the butt for a felony charge. Check.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
Randomize
