Just did free shots of tequila at a walmart. Hello Mexico
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Woke up with the note 'going outside. Ignore bloody spoon. Be back soon' taped to my forehead. Know anything about it?
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
I wanna throw up and cum in that order
Somebody found our where I was and called the bar looking for me. When the bartender called my name I finished my beer and took off like a fugitive.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
Jesus tap dancing Christ rock out with your cock out is supposed to be just an expression. And even if it weren't no one wants pics bro.
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
Update: I just threw up in between cars in the parking lot of magic kingdom.
I would fuck him just for his dog
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
