porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
Its like Laser Tag, but more fun because it ends in sex
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
i crunched every chip from the dorito bag and poured it in the vase. never again will i have to deal with cool ranch fingers.
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
Sorry i'm not sorry i made out with your dad. It was father's day weekend, get a grip
Somehow after we left in 3 different cars to all go to different places we still all ended up in the emergency room
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Who replies to a drunk text at 6am that's like against the rules of being a designated drunk text receiver
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
Wanna shave the hair on my back? If you're offended I was joking, if not I'll bring booze and maybe you can do other regions too.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
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