fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
i wasn't gonna shower then i remembered i slept in my own piss
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
I'm so excited for post-beer fest chipotle. It will be better than scared shitless pre-go karting chipotle.
Do you remember making out with the dude in the back of my cab last night?? You said his mustache tickled your tongue.
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
This is a test message to see whether or not the recipient is alive.
Just because you got dumped by some loser doeant mean you need Jesus. It just means you need better friends and some booze
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