It's Friday. Sex?
just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
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Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
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So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Btw, I feel the need to make sure we have no misunderstanding about this. So here goes. I'll happily mess around with you again. However, I probably won't do it while you're dressed like a creepy clown. Or any clown.
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
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