Tell her she can't have a vagina
You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
you will always have a special place in my vag
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
I was afraid that she would smell her boyfriend's penis on my breath while we were talking.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Pizza toast. It's like pizza but on toast. BC we are broke. OMG its so good.
You would never do this sober.
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Can you cover for me after lunch? I’ve never seen a guy who cums as much as my new Side Dick so now I need to clean the house before my husband gets home
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