I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
My mom just told me to make sure my face isn't on the front cover of the newspaper on 4/21. Challenge accepted
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
My phone saved "first signs of pregnancy" as a most visited search.
She wants to practice her harmonica skills on my penis
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
I didn't mind you coming over, just I'm quite sure most booty calls don't involve a scavenger hunt...
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
She kissed me, then said "mmm your face tastes like it needs my pussy on it."
I just googled "how to blow an uncircumcised guy" and did serious research. That's how badly I want to fuck him.
You misuse your internet privileges.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
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