We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
He just said "wow, thats some rly nice hair! And those teeth..thosee are some cool teeth"
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
Just thought i should tell someone im on the roof, if i pass out up here because no one found me, im behind the chimney
Well it was 11am and we were walking to the market with red cups in our hands yelling NO JUDGEMENT at every car that passed
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
The only thing I remember from last night is being naked in his bed if that's not summer drinking at it's finest then I don't wanna live anymore
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
I feel like I have a very capable uterus.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
