just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
Text me if you also stopped reading harry potter in the 4th grade and wanna go to the bars tonight instead of the midnight premiere
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Never let a one night stand shower at your place. My razor, lotion, and brush disappeared. #girlcode
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
Randomize
