11:03 p.m. Whats a lie i you lovn me. Let's cuddle.
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
Just bought plan B with a coupon. Told the pharmacist I like to keep it classy.
Every day you talk to me ... I literally love you more..
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
a search helicopter?!
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
Not even joking, someone broke into the house to watch porn. The cops are on the way.
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
Dude, what the hell where you thinking last night
Welllllll basically they were like "challenge" and I was like "accepted"
Randomize
