You're in luck. The brownies don't even have butter, just vege oil
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
What kind of a birthday party isn't a get drunk and ruin everything party
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
I knew it was a bad night when the only thing I could remember was you force feeding me tortilla chips as I hugged the tire of my car and begged to have my stomach pumped.
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I passed out drunk in her bed. Her boyfriend showed up and told me to go to the other room or we were gonna have a threesome. I threw up off the side of her bed and left. I feel like that was an adequate response.
Man the amount of drugs being done at a wedding with a bunch of surgeons was disturbing
Randomize
