tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Its officially tradition: I black out every year on michael jackson's death day..
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
I just don't understand how a line to ride a camel on a college campus could be too long for you to wait in.
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
Tell her to buy some booze and drink away her sorrows like an adult.
We were basically fucking on the dance floor. People kept buying us drinks. It really only encouraged us.
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Happy 4th. Did you guys get your syphilis thing taken care of?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize
