I'm fucking your sister right now.
You motherfucker
She's next.
you were convinced campus grass and foliage would give you your daily serving of vegetables to balance out the amount of alcohol you drank.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
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You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
I woke up to a hotel manager knocking on my car ( window was down) and asking if I was ok
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
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We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Ive got small boobs, but they sure do like to pop out and party with the big dogs.
Just had to read the instructions to my microwave. How am I so high?
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
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