Just found a glow stick inside of my vagina..
With the amount of traffic your vagina gets, it was only a matter of time before someone threw a rave there.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I think it's a scientific achievement that I can make jelly that is 95% vodka so suck it up.
He's my ex's boss. I'm not above sleeping with him for that fact alone.
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
