you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
You are like a prophet. It's amazing how many people you convince to be lesbians.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
So maybe I got drunk and hooked up with him in a hot tub? I mean that's nothing to be ashamed of, that kind of takes talent. I'd drown.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize