Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
What time do you think the pilgrims started drinking? I want to be as accurate as possible.
Drunkenly found an error on my bar tab last night. THANK YOU ACCOUNTING.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
There were slices of bread pasted to the wall with peanut butter this morning. I don't want to know
I'd say it's a shame and a disservice to the world that we can't stay drunken shitshows to infinity
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's time to run my sex life like a basketball team. Got the lesson Clint!
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
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