I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just used a franzia box to scrape the snow off my car.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
another part of my inner child died when i emptied my crayon bank for dollar beer night.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
So I thought the party was crazy before his pinky came off...
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
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