I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
what is it with giant penises always finding me
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
