So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
The bartender just asked me if I owned stock in Jameson. I've been here for less than an hour and he's already judging me.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
the mechanics of walkigng feel weird right now everyone lools like a demon
what does alcohol mean
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
I'm naked and there are two trees and a yield sign
Be right there
Randomize
