We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
Thank you, bloody toiletpaper I found in the hamper. I was worried that today was going to be boring.
Woke up this morning with a note saying "great sex, see you never". Why can't I meet more women like her?
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
Only you would get a date out of getting hit by a car
We left the knife in your bed.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
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