Porn is love you can see.
DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
two words: eviction party
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
All i've had today is coffee and ketchup packets. I need a job like yesterday.
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Omg. I definitely just got hit on by my doctor AFTER he completed my pap smear which clearly showed I was in the middle of an outbreak. What. The. Fuck.
I can tell that I'm high when listening to celine dion becomes such a life changing experience
Turns out I made out with a woman dressed as a unicorn here 10 years ago
Randomize
