taking a shot every time they compare curling to a real sport
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
oh wow I have been there. Hell one time Matt and I woke up naked with pizza rolls in the bed.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
Nothing says Merry Christmas like gifting a bottle of rum and finishing it yourself then leaning over at the dinner table to puke it back up.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
First date was awkward. I think I just saw someone die.
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
Randomize
