Having a random hookup so left but love u
FUCK TREES I CLIMB BUOYS MOTHERFUCKER
STOP listening to that song
just so you know, the uglier twin gives better bjs..don't be deceived
yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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