i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
Just opened a bottle with my rape whistle. At least it's finally getting used for something.
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
Am I really that girl who walks around half naked wearing a cowboy hat begging for liquor at some random guys house
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
we were sitting in the kitchen and you kept biting my shoulder saying "itll all be over soon"
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
L'Shannah Tovah!
Whats that? My new stripper name?
Me too like the fact they didn't arrest me wants to send them an edible arrangement
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
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