There's a girl in here wearing a kaballah bracelet and a miley Cyrus tshirt. consider her judged.
He came on my chest. Sat back and said "hey it sorta looks like lake michigan!" kill me now...
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Call me next time you want to get irresponsibly drunk when we have grown up things to do the next day.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He is so amazingly handsome. I just wanna fuck every shred of decency out of him.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
thats because you have standards... and i have a thing for guys that give me free drugs.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
No, this year you're all getting coupons for things like "no yelling because you had sex in my apartment" or "the last beer."
Randomize
