Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
My life now consists of 2 time frames. BV before vibrator and AD after death of my sex life.
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
It's truly amazing how much porn I can get in while my phones at 1% battery life.
Somewhere out there, on several phones belonging to strangers, exists a video of me rapping Baby Got Back on stage in four inch heels that I stole from the drag queen. Also I made out with the chick with the octopus tattoo.
You have the best birthdays
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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