Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
47 days without vaginal penetration. Im pretty sure it's grown over.
Do you realize that if your cunt was a missing person it would be assumed dead?
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
don't care how drunk i am. my dick was like "nope, not doing it, you can't make me and i was like oh yes i can"
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Kinda. I got kicked outta the bar, and then incited a riot until the cops came and I bailed
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
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