Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
True life I used my fake as a photo id for my final. My professor told me good luck and laughed. Hope the bouncers are in the St. Patrick's day spirit.
Just smoked a bowl with the exterminator. I think my day is more productive.
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
Just saw a bouncer shoot a stripper with a squirt gun. He looked at me n said,"gotta keep em in check." I'm in love with this place
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
Friends dont let friends get hit with a flaming baton without warning
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
Honestly, I've had enough of his asshole to last me the new year.
Please tell me you're talking about his personality.
Had to go see my sisters new baby this morn in the clothes I wore to the rave last night. Still drunk. Almost dropped it. I'll be a good aunt right?
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
But seriously I don't know. I haven't seen her since I gave her back her 3 blind mice stick, and she just started hitting everybody with it.
How was it?
Incredible. Everyone in the world should be having the kind of sex I've been having.
He should write a pamphlet or something...
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
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