no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Just invented taco cereal.
I remembered to bring wine in a nalgene bottle, but I forgot sunscreen and water. I'm starting to question my life decisions.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
Im done having sex . he ruined it for me after he said " can we use my penis as a shovel ?"
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize
