omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
I remember you licked my face and said that's all you're getting
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I've had 5 hours of sleep and I still smell like sex with the Colonel. I don't appreciate spontaneity.
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
You have ten minutes starting with this message to get here. Or I'm putting my clothes back on.
wheres my face? and why is my pocket so big?
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