Plan B is the new Plan A
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
he was spitting whole peanuts projectile out of his mouth at the waitresses as they walked by and then yelled across the restaurant that he had "no problem kicking any of their asses"
I just had a flash of me drinking straight vodka out of a condom...
Yeah but then he looked at me bleeding on the floor, said oh i guess you need to go to the hospital now, and left
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
His wife made me pancakes and let me borrow a clean shirt. Should I drop his class or use this to my advantage
Yaaaayyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyyy! It has more than one y so my intentions to sleep with you after the drink special ends are clear
She had pubes that could make an episode of Duck Dynasty. Fear the Vag Beard
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
He finished and he wasn't even totally hard. He actually came without a boner.
HOW IS THAT EVEN POSSIBLE.
Randomize
