PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I'm cleaning my bathroom. That being said I found a klonopin and dropped it and stepped on it. Floor is clean im gonna snort it.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Then when he got home he face timed me and showed me his balls
She deliberately backed into the homewrecker's whoremobile and yelled ""FOR SPARTA!"
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
Honey...this isn't my 20's. This is my 30's. I paid for this house and these expensive ass sheets to fuck in them. Get your ass over here.
Just as an add on, don't expect me to wear matching bra and underwear. If I do, I'm probably drunk and it's your fucking birthday. Have a great night.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
Randomize
