i just made a list of the people i have slept with. is it bad that some of them are just either names of the places i met them or the color of the shirts?
i also rounded the number up for good measure. i am sure there are a few i have forgotten about.
WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
yeah so i didn't even realize i was on meth until the next morning
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
my stepmom is let-the-dog-eat-out-of-her-mouth drunk. oh my god.
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
Why is there never any toilet paper at his apartment? What does he wipe his ass with? WHAT DOES HE WIPE IT WITH?!?
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
