Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I shouldn't trust a guy I just met with the pull out method. That's a big responsibility.
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet