I really love her but I don't think I can go the rest of my life without anal.
If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
So I just found out that my mom and dad arent married
What? They have three kids?
Yep. And apparently I have a half brother. Happy Birthday to me
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
he used a semicolon in his bootycall text, of course he's not gonna go down on me.
he's downstairs watching tv with my family... I called the home line so my mom could bring me my make up bag cause my real face would prob make him delete my number
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
I need to pay that drinking in public ticket, but I also really want to get a spray tan next week... so priorities.
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels