do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
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Am I allowed to say that I would really enjoy blowing you again? Or does that fall into the "nothing changes between us" catagory?
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
I was naked with an australian flag taped to my boobs. Damn internationals think they can claim everything.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
There's a creepy homeless guy with no hand trying to get up on our tacobell order
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Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.