you used to get mad at me for mentioning 'unprotected sex' and happenings in my bed
well yeah, but then i realized the wisdom of your ways.
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
with your flexibility, and the size of my penis, amazing things are possible.
You went from loaded cattleman, to football player, to better football player, to art major from Missouri. Your future was looking so good for a while.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
I'll answer your question with a question: Are you gonna be too high?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
i believe in u and ur pee
Randomize
