he ate 15 dinner rolls and nothing else. then took a shit in the bathroom came out and blamed it on his dad. i wish i was 8.
birth control should be required to get into college
I just used a coupon while buying plan B. The pregnant sales clerk nodded in approval.
Getting wasted on top of a casino. My penis is so much higher than everyone else's right now.
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
I'm voting my liver organ of the month. The award ceremony is next weekend.
Would it be in bad taste to ask Marky Mark to sign the vibrator I named after him?
if she didnt wantt to be febrezed, she shouldnt have smelled so desperate.
Found out I slept with someone who likes Pitbull. I really should get to know someone better before I sleep with them.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
no it was
but you compared your dick to a female disney character
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
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