The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
She's like a pop up book from hell.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Completely smashed, masturbating to the view of the ocean. Family vacations are more tolerable than I thought
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
When he gets asked "is it in?" more than his name you arent missing out on much more than a petite tampon.
"Grocery shopping" is really just a euphemism for spending $20 on enough frozen food to last 2 weeks and spending the rest of your viable paycheck on alcohol.
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
Randomize
