jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
You'd be surprised how many calories hedonism burns.
Seriously your house is like the underground railroad for unwanted gay kids
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
I'm going to be there later than expected. There was a yo-yo incident...
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
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