There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
He was very impressed that you could put your hair in a ponytail by yourself while throwing up.
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I told her I named my penis "The Spirit of Exploration." That's all it took.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
My sweat smells like Wild Turkey. I'm really feeling the holiday spirit.
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
They just canceled the season. It’s going to be harder to bang soccer moms this year
Randomize
