i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
I dont ever wanna see you tell my little brother to "spread the seed" ever again
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
So the girl in front of me was buying champagne too .. I wanted to be like "so are you celebrating clean test results too?"
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Is it just me, or do you see your penis in that hand?
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
