his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
We asked "Is that Andy puking in the bushes, its 7 AM" he looks up and goes "It's okay guys, its 7:30"
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
Randomize
