no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
At the T-Rex bar with my nephew...only in Disney can I have a beer and a soda at the bar with a 4 year old
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Everyone's impressed that I actually got pee all over his car since I'm a girl and they're a little curious..
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
somehow getting chased by a bulldozer was NOT on my to-do list for today. just saying
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
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