he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
saw a man tazing a raccoon in the middle of the street last night... normal
dude you guys. You can't throw up in the recycling bin. I don't think vomit is recyclable
Paying 5 grand for boobs is saving me like 10 grand in weed
the room spins SO much faster in panama
I think my sister is getting tired of me breaking into her house so I can sleep with random girls when shes not there
We're all in the kiddie pool on the porch. Fully clothed. Watching porn. With my manager.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
If you could not mention to him that I slept with his best friend, that'd be cool of you.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Randomize
