Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
i just taught a 3 year ld how to do a jager bomb, i cant wait to have kids
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
I'm pretty sure I just discovered what the American Dream is said the person eating a hotdog for breakfast in bed in her underwear
Cool. Some 22 year old kids gave me a ride home from the bar last night. In related news, I made out with a 22yr old last night. He was adorable
I realized I used a copy of a biography of JFK as pillow last night...
Happy Fourth.
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
If I don't get to have sex with him soon my entire female reproductive system is gonna climb out of my body and choke me to death
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Randomize
