thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
You made me cry and you don't even care
I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
This sounds like "Sober" Ericka. Sorry that message wasn't for you. I only do business with "Fell off the wagon" Ericka. Please pass that message along to her.
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
I'm eating Doritos that I crushed up n put in a cup so I only have to chill minimally.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
He is currently pregaming mini golf. MINI GOLF.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Randomize
