he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
The musician playing at the bar just puked inside his acoustic guitar, then sang an encore performance. I love Louisa!!!!
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
I just negotiated a blow job for an interview.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
Serious question: Should I volunteer to get tazered? My instincts say no but my wild side says yes.
There's s woman at the corner of the bar dancing by herself in her seat and making eye contact with me. Please hurry.
I say that because you at one point were like a mama spider covered with baby spiders only you were a man covered with strippers.
And after we debated politics. My dream come true: naked, just got done having great sex with a hot mixed guy, talking about why social welfare programs are a bad idea
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
I was supposed to go on a date tonight but I cancelled because I found out the Lizzie McGuire movie is on Netflix.
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Nobody cheats on THIS.
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Randomize